Heart in a glass

Chapter I

Benjamin A. Clarke. The name jumped at her. Is this the Ben Clarke she knew? Eventful night many years ago, drunken night. Younger brother of her best friend Heather. Well, she'll just have to find out on the day. Marianne finished reading all the names on her students list, all 13 of them. She reads them to familiarise herself with the names. It helps with learning to pronounce each name. They don't mean much to her most of the time. Some names might be familiar like a rock star name or a presidents name. But never like this. Never someone creeping from the past.

How did it all come to this? How did she became a University lecturer? Literature. She was supposed to be a successful writer by now with maybe at least two books on New York Best seller list. We'll, that was the plan when she finished her degree on English Literature. Instead, here she is looking at names on an email sent to her by the University. She wrote pretty good articles for magazines and newspapers. She's paid good enough money for some internet content she submits. But never her own book. Well, hopefully not yet. She's also work for the most sought after Literature Professor on her own University. That's where she got this job. Professor Hollingsworth, Elizabeth Hollingsworth Ph.D. It'll take half a page if she wrote all that came before or after her name on a piece of paper. Professor Hollingworth, she found out, is just Betty to her very close friends and family. Very kind and caring person. Not someone students feared or avoids. Marianne worked for her after she graduate. Begged her really to give her a chance just a glimpse of the inside of her office. She even offered to work for free. So that she can put in her resume that she worked for Prof Elizabeth Hollingsworth. She tried and refused her so many times but Marriane just kept coming back. She finally accepted her. Just to prevent her from camping outside her office in the University. Then after a few months she went with her to seminars and conferences. She leant a lot just sitting in all of them. She should really be paying the Professor for the wealth of knowledge she taught her.

Marriane was happy that way for nearly  two years. Until one day when she spoke to her Dad on one of her visits home. She realized her younger sister Nicole is working her way up the ladder and is going to be a great lawyer. She's engaged to a lawyer who is a young partner of a prestigious law firm in their hometown. Planning to purchased a house and start a family. And she - Marianne is older by two years and a secretary/assistant/companion of a University Professor. What happened to the book writing? She has five manuscripts that she was planning to show the Professor, but it got put on the sideline. Until one day, the Professor came back from one of her overseas trip very sick. Asked her a favor to go to this University and here she is now. A lecturer. She enjoys it.

And as for a man and family, there was Andrew. Was. And just like some best stories, it had a good start but ended really badly. And it wasn't a bestseller. 


 

Chapter II

Marianne C. Rothschild. How can he forget her? She made sure he wouldn't. That night. Every move he made seems to lead to her. Like a game of chess, he wanted to win so much. His heart now begs him to make the winning move. But not yet. All these years, he had not found an ounce of courage to make a move. Until exactly three months ago, a phone call and an enrolment form. That night played on his mind whilst filling out the form. That night.

He remembered it like it was just yesterday. For him it was only yesterday. He remembered the house was full of people. Young and old. Celebrating his parents 30^th wedding anniversary. Friends of the family all came. Her sisters friends, his friends. Including Jaycee Spinley. Ahh, Jaycee. He followed her around all night. In fact he had been following her around for weeks. And Jaycee loved all the attention. Laughing with him, at him. Giggling, touching. And tonight, as the night became foggy. The alcohol had clouded the adults minds, busy with their own mindless chit chats and celebrating. Her sisters friends are upstairs, his parents are somewhere inside busy entertaining. It was poised to be his night. To be his night with Jaycee. And if he is really lucky, she would be his girlfriend. That was the plan. And it seems to be working. Up until the late arrival of Mr. and Mrs. Allan Rathbourne, and their son Bryan Rathbourne. It was as if a curtain had been lifted from Jaycees' eyes and brain. Suddenly she stopped laughing at his jokes. Avoids his touch. He turned around to get some drinks and there she was.. Happily chasing Bryan around. And Bryan was just too eager to be chased. Teasing and dangling. Looking at Bryan, that was him, a moment ago. He was really going to storm up to them, but somehow lack the courage. He always seem to have very little of it. Even now. He just stood there staring at them. Jaycee has forgotten all about him. Doesn't even seem to look his way. And then he saw her tilt her head and she laugh, giggle. He had a sudden burst of bravery to take a step and was ready to head to their direction. He didn't know what he was going to say and how, but he was walking and his legs are picking up speed. He nearly jumped when he saw them hand in hand heading towards the dark side of the garden. He's nearly there when, he felt a hand on his wrist. It was Marianne, a beer in one hand and gripping his wrist with the other. He didn't saw her came out of the house. Maybe he was so caught up in looking intently at Jaycee and her new found puppy.

“Hey, Benzo!” To Marianne and all her sisters friends, he is always Benzo. Her sister calls her that since they were little, easier for her to say.

“Have you seen Heather?” she asked, a bit tipsy.

“She's upstairs.” He caught a glimpse of Jaycee and Bryan smiling, walking hand in hand from the dark. He was ready to move away when.. He felt Mariannes' hand let go of his wrist and grabbed the side of his head. He didn't noticed that she already put the beer bottle down and grab his back side with her other hand. It happened so quickly. Marianne kissed him fully on the lips. He couldn't breath, couldn't talk. The full sensation of her soft lips on his. Her warm breath on his skin. He can't stop his eyes from shutting, just as he saw Jaycee and Bryan looking straight at them. Harry could taste the beer from Mariannes' mouth. And mint. She tasted his lips. And without thinking he copied her, he let his tongue taste her. His head started spinning. The ground underneath was moving. He didn't know the taste of beer and mint could taste so good. All his body felt alive, burning. Beads of sweat forming on his forehead and on his top lip. The kiss seemed to go on forever. His mouth was wet with her taste. He didn't know how his hands ended up on Mariannes' hips. He pulled her closer. They both have to stop to breath. Marianne stood back a little, she's now hanging on to his shoulder. She stared straight into his eyes. Maybe straight to his soul. He saw how beautiful her eyes were. Half shut, misty. Her lips red, full, swollen from the kiss.

He forgot what happened next. Doesn't remembered if she even said anything. He just stood there as she started to walk away. She walked back towards the house. Jaycee and Bryan probably saw the whole thing and he doesn't even care. 

  

Chapter III

Marianne also remembers that night. Maybe not as vivid as Bens' but oh, yes, she remembered it. It was a lovely night. Heathers' parents are wonderful people. Marianne is always at their place. Since her mother died when she was just five, she remembered spending a lot of time at the Clarkes. Their parents were very good friends so her Dad let her stay there. Her younger sister liked to spend time with their grandparents whilst their Dad was working. She knows Ben very well and adores him like a little brother but that night changed it all. Oh yes, dark, moonless, warm summer night.

He saw Ben with this girl around the party. She knows she was not Bens' girlfriend. Heather has not mentioned it. Or maybe she was. The way they were acting that night. They look like a happy couple. Heather liked Jaycee too. Her parents are a longtime friends of the family as well. She seemed sweet. Or so they thought.

Marianne went down to grab some more drinks for her and their other friends on the lounge room upstairs when he noticed the Rathbournes arrived. Rich and beautiful people the Rathbournes. She even liked their eldest son Roderick. But he wasn't here tonight as she scanned the room. But what she saw was the changed in Ben and Jaycee. Jaycee was now like a magnet towards young Bryan. Ah, the handsome athlete Bryan. Poor Ben. She took the drinks when she noticed him following the new couple walked outside. She can't help but follow them. She doesn't want him to get into trouble. Jaycee and Bryan looked poised to get intimate in the dark and Ben storming towards them. Without thinking, Marianne grabbed Bens' hand. She was just going to ask him to come back inside with her. But when he spun around to look at her, she saw a dark emotion. Without thinking, Marianne asked the most silly question. But seeing that it did not have an effect on him, she had to think fast. She can now see Jaycee and Bryan walking hand in hand towards them.

She grabbed Ben by the side of his head. She can still feel he's too far away from her, so she grabbed his back side too without thinking. Pulling him tightly towards her, she kissed him mouth open, full on the lips. Her heart was beating so fast. Before she could think, she slipped her tongue and teased his lips. He tasted of vanilla and passionfruit. She was surprised to find his tongued touched hers. Her knees turned to jelly. Lucky Ben caught her on the hips. He pulled her even closer. He felt his chest on her breast. Pressing, wanting. Her mouth was so moist from the drink and from Bens' taste. He smelt so nice. Lemon and musk. She felt the tiny prickle of shaved skin oh his upper lip. She started to feel light. She needed to breath. She let go of his head and gasp for air. He just tightened his grip on her waist. Leaning back, she looked deep into his eyes. Maybe even into his soul. Ben had such a soulful eyes. Very intense, yet not showy. He can't seem to hide his emotions. Which by now reads desire. He wanted her.

He already forgotten about Jaycee and Bryan, whom by now was already inside the house. She did her job. Ben didn't get into trouble. She just started to walk away. Leaving him standing on the side of the garden. He's safe now. Or is he?


 

Chapter IV

Ben felt so alone standing there in the garden. He must have been standing there for a while. He didn't know what to do next. His body was still aflame from what just happened. His mind can't think straight. He wanted to look for Jesse but his mind and body is telling him to follow Marianne. And by the time he had gathered enough courage to go after her , Marianne had disappeared.

“Have you seen Marianne?” he asked his sister Heather when he saw her upstairs.

“She went downstairs to get some drinks,” replied Heather.

“Oh, here are the drinks, she must be in one of the rooms Ben.”

Ben almost leaped away to search for Marianne. She wasn't in any of the rooms. Heather didn't even noticed Bens' panic. No one did. Marianne must be downstairs somewhere, Ben thought. Ben hurried down the steps. He almost leaped all of twenty steps of it. His heart is pumping, his mind racing. He wanted to find Marianne. He might not know what to say or do once he find her. He just needs to find her.

He saw Jesse and Bryan still together in the kitchen. Some of his friends are there too. Jesse saw him and they locked gaze. He felt a tinged of longing for her but not loss. Jesse then looked away and started talking to Bryan. Ben didn't care anymore.

Marianne wasn't in the kitchen. She wasn't anywhere in the house. Or outside. Ben thought to himself, she must have regretted it. Regretted what happened between them. Maybe it was a mistake. She felt it was a mistake. How can it be a mistake? How can she run away? He spent the night wondering what she must be thinking. What she's feeling. Why did she left? He wanted the answer so much. Wanted her.

Chapter V

Marianne was breathless when she reached upstairs. Her friends are busy chatting with each other. She put the drinks in a corner table. Searching for Heather, she saw her friends laughing and happily chatting away. She felt like she didn't belong.

“Ah, there you are!” Heather greeted her. “Thanks for getting the drinks.”

“That's alright,” she replied.

Marianne felt like she had a dirty little secret that she can't share with her. With Heather whom she shares everything. What would she say? What would Heather say?

“By the way, I kissed your brother.” That would not go down well, she thought. Or maybe Heather would just think it's hilarious.

She didn't stay to find out. Maybe Ben would tell everyone and she didn't want to be there to find out.

She couldn't face anyone. Especially Heathers' parents. What would they say? She had to go. She didn't even want to tell anyone she's going. She didn't know what to say.

“I've got a massive headache!” another lie. She can't lie anymore.

She started walking towards the stairs, hoping not to bump with Ben. And as she was walking towards the door, she can feel her escape. No one noticed her leaving. She felt relieved. She had to lean on the wall outside the gate to steady herself. She felt like a fugitive on the run.

The walked home was the longest walk she has ever done. It was half run, half walk. She's been this road so many times in the past. But never like this. Never like this on this warm, moonless summer night.

She had to lie to her Dad when she reached home.

“Marianne, is that you? I thought you are staying the night with the Clarkes,” her Dad called when he heard the door creaked open. “I just got home myself, Nicole is still at Grandmas.”

“I'm not feeling real well, Dad.” Half truth.

“I'll just go to my room now.”

“Ok, darling. Have a goodnight. Let me know if you need anything.”

She felt sorry for her Dad. “Don't worry Dad, I'll be fine. I'll just have a shower.” There's no illness a good shower couldn't cure. Especially hers.

She's safe for now inside her room. What about tomorrow? How is she ever going to face Heather? The Clarkes? And Ben?

Chapter VI

Sitting in the room. Looking at the ceiling, the wall, the floor. The steady flow of other students coming in. Ben couldn't help but came in early. He woke up at the crack of dawn. He can't even manage porridge this morning. And now he is sitting here, hungry. He hasn't been this way before, not in Architecture School. He was anxious. He had envisioned this meeting over and over in his mind ever since he made the decision to pursue her. He doesn't know what came over him to enroll in her class. After all these years. Yes, all those years he struggled to forget her. To forget that night. To forget how she left. How she avoided him. And his family. His mum really missed Marianne when she stopped going to their house. She was very fond of her. She calls her Anne. Heather loved it that Marianne was close to them. It was just like having a sister. And after that night, he felt like it was his fault that she avoided them. But he felt like he couldn't tell them why. He felt there was really nothing wrong about what had happened. Not to him, but maybe to Marianne it's different. He sure would like to know.

Ben was looking intently at the floor that he didn't notice the babble of talk around him had already ceased. And a familiar hum filled the air. He looked up. Straight into those big, brown lost eyes he longed to stare into in all of these years.

Marianne was saying something but all he could hear was a hum.

“The art of the written work, why choose this?” Marianne asked. She looked down on a piece of paper on her desk.

“Benjamin Clarke,” she continued.

Ben heard his name. But for some reason it sounded like somebody else's. He squirmed in his seat.

“Benjamin. Are you still here?”

“What was the question, Marianne?” Ben answered. He didn't see the shock reaction of the other students faces. It was followed by faint whispers and giggles, snicker. Then he realised, albeit too late that he was inside a classroom. He felt like he fell flat from a falling tree.

“Literature, Mr. Clarke. Why choose it?” Marianne continued cooly.

A hand shoot up beside Ben. A blonde head with pretty blue eyes. Smiling at him.

“Uhm, Ms. Slade,” Marianne looked down on her note to address the pretty blonde beside him.

“It's safe. And, well inspiring,” Ms. Slade answered. She then throw a smile at his direction. Ben winked back at her, as if to thank her.

“Thank you, Ms. Slade,” Marianne called out.

“Yes, Ms. Slade me too. Thank you,” Ben answered back. The whole class erupted into laughter. Ben saw the change in Mariannes' face. He's starting to regret what he had just said.

“You're a comedian, Mr. Clarke,” Marianne shoot back.

“My class is not a comedy bar though, so let us clear that up in my office after class,” Marianne answered cooly. Although to Ben those are very heated words.

The class continued without any more incident from either Marianne or Ben. Although he hadn't understand a word of it. Maybe Romeo and Juliet here and there. Shakespeare. But he just listened to the voice in front. And occasionally to the pretty blonde beside him.

When the class dismissed, Ben waited around the corner for Ms. Slade. He just want to thank her for saving him today.

“Hi, I'm Ben. Thank you for that,” Ben introduced himself when she turned the corner.

“That's cool. You owe me one. Chanel. Chanel Slade,” Ms. Slade introduced herself.

“I don't know what came over Ms. Rothschild today. She's normally very calm.”

“I know,” Ben agreed to her.

“You know each other?” Chanel asked. There's an intrigued and wonder behind her eyes. Ms. Rothschild? What secret could she be hiding, she thought.

“My sister knew her.” That's the truth Ben thought to himself.

“Ah. You're new here?”

“Yeah, first day. Not a good first day, hey,” he laughed.

She laughed at him too. She seemed very nice.

“It's better to get it out of the way,” she answered back. Teasing him.

Ben saw Marianne walked past them. He was sure she saw them on the hallway. He didn't see any expression on her face. Should he be worried?

Marianne was talking to one of the students while walking, towards her office he guessed. Chanel also spotted her.

“There she is. You better go. Let us know what's it's like, the inside of her office, no one had been inside there yet,” she laughed while telling him.

“You'll be the talk of the day for being the first one to have been in there.”

“I hope they're not expecting a full report,” he grinned.

“Oh, yes we will!” she shouted while walking away.

“See you sometime Mr. Clarke,” she shouted.

“See you, and it's Ben,” he answered happily.

Ben walked away as soon as he saw Chanel disappeared in the crowd. He had no intention of going into Mariannes' office. Let her wait. He waited long enough. He wants her to come to him. Badly. And yes, she will come to him.